Enchantment
posted by jm at 7:30 PM
Friday, February 16, 2007
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
Previous Posts
- Jeweled
- Get your Specs
- The Captain
- Eclipse
- Please Come In
- Rob Gonsalves. Poem: Sarah L. Thompson imagine a ...
- I got the Jelly Roll Blues, but I'm gonna dance ...
- Slow and Lazy
- I'm thinking............ .............
- The Archer on the Bridge
88 Comments:
silent
smile
stealth
steps
slinks
softly
shadowless
shadow
twinkle
twinkle
don't tumble
don't toss
don't tear
no tears
on the moss
it's a rumble
pause
pause
to?
not to?
do
did
it's done
it's done
no regret
no fret
no sweat
sweet
feet
run until we meet
dying for you
dying
for
you
succumbed
to
tempt
ation
no
shame
i
had
to
Jane. Heavens.
Author?
moi
stream of consciousness, just now
point of departure was the image you posted
plus something that happened tonight
OMG. This is amazing. I live for spontaneity.
Good or bad, neither or both? The event?
pause
to?
not to?
do
did
it's done
I love this.
i do this (stream of con 'dumps') all the time
Good or bad, neither or both? The event?
i wish i knew
i don't know
time will tell
hindsight and all that jazz
i'm in a difficult place today/tonight...
think i'll go run me another bath
THE cancer moon soother par excellence - bath
there are days i have as many as three... long long ones
your babbling brook overhung by trees is a fav setting of mine - bliss
What are you feeling?
The Cancer/Aquarius theme is up now with the Moon in Aquarius. I always find it intriguing. Aquarius wants us to feel but not so much respond to every little stimulation. I have so much Uranus, but my Mercury in Cancer gives in to emotions. I like odd poetry, not overly sentimental, although Cancer doesn't mind the cheesy stuff.
Your poetry reminded me of the mental/emotional mix of this Aquarius Moon.
Yes. Babbling brook..:-)
Your poetry reminded me of the mental/emotional mix of this Aquarius Moon.
Hmm... I do see it, now that you mention it...
It often goes that way.
Other times it is Scorpionic to the extreme.
What are you feeling?
Good question. I am never good at putting my feelings into words.
Let me think about it ok...
That opposition you have... your JupMoon vs your V/U/Merc... that must be a lot of fun to contend with! ;-) !!
Square your Mars?nep no less!!! Oye! :-D
I wish we had a live audio connection right now and you could play and sing for us...
OMG!
LOL! I don't contend with it. It does me and I go along for the ride.
I love the whole configuration. The Moon/Jupiter is so resilient. It keeps my spirits high and makes me love the sport of living.
The Venus/Uranus is perhaps my favorite. every single best friend of mine has been an Aquarian man. The strange twist is that after Pluto transited my Moon, Aquarian women appeared, just as the last male one left to live with the sea lions on the West Coast.
Well, if it's a women, please let her be a genius!
Oh how wonderful!!!! Play and sing. Is there really a desire out there?
Last night I was happy and kept bursting out in spontaneous song. The Best Things in Life Are Free came in and I actually stretched to sing it rather high, a departure from my low bass rap sound.
I feel it coming. Singing comes from so deep in the gut and depends on feeling good, love being integral. So how do I stay in love so's I can sing consistently?
Unless money was flying my way. Maybe that would get me to sing! gotta learn to love it.
My 'best friend' in my late teens/University years was an Aq.
Currently, I am not doing so well with Aqs. I dated one off and on through 2005 and hung out with an Aq crowd in that same timeframe, and must admit the Aq factor is not agreeing with me during this particular phase of my life.
So here I am with Aq you and Aq Pat... :-)
Thank goodness for Libra Neith!! :-D
low bass rap sound
OK. First let me say, I am totally musically illiterate.
All I know is "high" voices/sounds physically hurt (and they don't have to be very "high".
"Low" on the other hand brings me to O(rgasm) on the spot.
I've trusted my Aquarian friends the most. They don't ask for anything. Neither do they give effusively. They accompany me on fantastic mental voyages that I never want to end.
I love Aquarius. It's a good New Moon for me.
my bath is ready
back later
:-)
sing low and loud for me?? :-)
They accompany me on fantastic mental voyages that I never want to end.
See, I would ~love~ that.
My 2005 Aq was ~capable~ of that, I knew it, that was a huge part of the attraction for me.
But at that time, she was in another 'place' and did not want to go 'there'... alas...
I've trusted my Aquarian friends the most.
I did (trust) this one. She turned out to have no problem lying. I don't do well with lies.
OK! Water gonna be cold! Bye! :-)
OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!
All I know is "high" voices/sounds physically hurt (and they don't have to be very "high".
My crusade! OMG!!!!
My major major hatred is the screaming high pitched singing voices everywhere. And man....do they EVER hurt. I have 3 sets of ear plugs that always travel with me. I can't stand it!! I can't believe you said this. This is wonderful. I know there is an audience for that sexy low. It's so soothing. People are afraid of pleasure. They confuse the screaming pain with excitement. maybe it is to them.
Hallelujah.
Wish I had a wireless laptop I could take to the tub with me!! :-P
LOL!!!!!
It's time to submerge quietly for a mo. That Cancer Moon of yours is POWERFUL, only thing below the horizon. That's a whole novel right there.
It's very interesting about high sounds. Some of them add a mountain of reverb and get an ethereal high sound that doesn't hurt, but the hard high pitched is associated with aggression and inflicting pain.
Here's an experiment. next time you see one of those singers, turn off the sound and look at the facial expressions. They are tormented. Snarling. Rabid. And the arms are usually punching the audience, as well as the instruments, if they are trying to play them. It's an S&M ritual and I have to look away.
I see so much desire for punishment out there, I'm overwhelmed.
Then, on the other hand, you get those mealy-mouthed whimperers with their true confessions like I used to read in the mags when I was 12. I always find it odd that they are crying about love lost to 50,000 fans who adore them and send millions their way. Broken-hearted billionaires.
It's tough. Somewhere in the cracks are great voices waiting to get out.
That Cancer Moon of yours is POWERFUL
Yes. I have come to really understand it in recent years and I love it dearly - although there are those who don't.
But now I know my true friends from their not 'tolerating' my Cancer Moon but actually ~loving it~, as do I.
i'll come back to the music thing in a minute... but first...
You asked, earlier...
What are you feeling?
Sad. Abandoned. And Impotent.
On two separate fronts.
What I 'did' tonight (as mentioned in the stream of con dump) was an attempt to effect change on one of those fronts. (It was a tug-of-war for me, because I was not, and still am not, sure that it was the right thing to do. Sometimes you just have to fling yourself off the cliff and find out. You'll land on a puff of cotton, or you'll smash your face - again.)
because I was not, and still am not, sure that it was the right thing to do.
Don't you think that's usually the case in most of what we do. We learn in retrospect. And what's right?
I'm trying to do what you say. Just do it. Good and bad results are natural. The fear of is worse for me. Every action has consequences. so?
I really am sick of trying not to make mistakes. I think this could be the most inhibiting factor of all.
The Full Moon in virgo is coming pointing to this inhibition. God knows Aries (my NN) knows better.
Just do it! Most things can be fixed.
I know there is an audience for that sexy low. It's so soothing.
Indeed. Indeed. Indeed!!
You know what it is? Bear with my lack of a musical vocabulary to explain myself. All I know to use are the words "low" and "high".
It ties in with what you said:
People are afraid of pleasure.
Low = Plutonian/Scorpionic
Low / deep / throaty = going down down down into that dark place that scares most people.
That dark place where Eros and Thanatos dance so beautifully together. So ~productively~. Generating life. Transforming.
It's the Life/Death/Life cycle that Clarissa Pinkolas Estes speaks of so well.
Most people are afraid of the dark. I live in the dark. And it is not at all a negative thing for me. AT ALL.
Life is most often conceived in the dark.
Life is gestated in the darkness of the womb.
And I was thinking while soaking in the tub... how can you tell if a woman is faking an orgasm... (a cursory visit of online porn sites will confirm this)... she moans and shrieks at high pitch!
Ties in with your other comment about the shrieking chicks on stage!! :-D
I know there is an audience for that sexy low.
I would buy everything you recorded!!!
Keyword: ~record~!!!
I can't buy it if you don't ~record~ it!!! :-) xoxoxo
Every action has consequences. so?
That was kindov my reasoning tonight.
I was in excruciating pain, and had been for 2 1/2 weeks.
I figured: ok. I ~am~ hurting now, and if I ~don't~ do 'this', the pain is guaranteed to continue. On the other hand, if I do do 'this', it could go either way. So I acted.
I really am sick of trying not to make mistakes.
There are days when, despite all the 'inner work' and 'growth', hell, I have no idea of what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' anymore. Or 'best'.
I know I have come to a point in my journey where it is time to get out of my head and into the world.
Time to start ~acting~ again.
And damn the torpedoes.
You're right. There will be mistakes along the way. So what.
Just do it! Most things can be fixed.
You are so right!
Somewhere in the cracks are great voices waiting to get out.
So. When can I look forward to ~yours~??? :-)
You said it all here. let me get a tiny grip. Jane, this is really true.
Low / deep / throaty = going down down down into that dark place that scares most people.
Yes. Mescaline does this and it is in the core of the earth. My voice under these circumstances is complete satisfaction. Gutteral. The vibration and resonance of life. People are truly afraid so they lightly skim.
My Scorp sister made these sounds when my mother died and I'll never forget it. I loved her all that much more. Honest, real, and the deepest pleasure coming from the deepest pain.
Most people are afraid of the dark. I live in the dark. And it is not at all a negative thing for me. AT ALL.
Another one of my personal crusades and the desecration of that word.
Life is gestated in the darkness of the womb.
What can I say? So beautifully said. So simple.
Very very interesting about the faked orgasms. This is another one. the attempted sex siren image on stage with the cannonball tits, the miniskirts and the stilettos. Then out comes these childish. sexless voices. Doesn't jibe.
By the way. I own this most special piano. Her name is Pleasure.
I shall have to introduce you to her.
Maybe I could blog about her at my place sometime. She is GORGEOUSSSSS!!!
She is also my call to the Universe for a pianist/musician as my next lover... :-)
Then out comes these childish. sexless voices. Doesn't jibe.
Ah, man. So touché!
And they don't do A THING for me. Never have.
OMG. So much here. You're a fount, jane.
I was in excruciating pain, and had been for 2 1/2 weeks.
I have this all the time and it's my guideline. I've gotten better at reading the direction. It hurts but it gets us there. I'm not one to shy away from this pain. My Pluto day recently was like this.
There are days when, despite all the 'inner work' and 'growth', hell, I have no idea of what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' anymore. Or 'best'.
This inner work crap is ridiculous. we live, we learn, we die. Jesus god.
This is the real key in the key of life. There is no right or best. Not really. It all equals out. We do and we go forward. We experience most of all.
I know I have come to a point in my journey where it is time to get out of my head and into the world.
Time to start ~acting~ again.
And damn the torpedoes.
You and me both. I want this fearlessness most of all. The torpedos. So what. I can dodge a lot of them.
My voice? This is the plan. Saturn in virgo in my 6th and Pluto square my Mars. This fall.
A musician for a lover? Honestly, jane, I don't know about that for you. They are married to themselves and often not really interested in sex. The music is a better outlet. The joy is living with the sounds, but the people themselves can be problematic. Lots of emotional problems usually. Not solvable.
Maybe a writer would be better.
Ok baby! I shall look for you! :-)
You know I'm ~dying~ to hear your voice now!
A musician for a lover? Honestly, jane, I don't know about that for you. They are married to themselves and often not really interested in sex. The music is a better outlet. The joy is living with the sounds, but the people themselves can be problematic. Lots of emotional problems usually. Not solvable.
OMG! You kill me! :-D
But!! By golly. You just may be right... I see it. (Btw, my first female lover was a musician. Shit.)
Maybe a writer would be better.
I am a professional writer. Not sure I want a clone of myself.
A musician for a lover? Honestly, jane, I don't know about that for you.
OMG I just can't get over that comment. You are so right. So so right. You may have just saved a lot of wasted years down a wrong path!
I'll make sure to 'take in' only a 'Sunday player'! That's all I wanted anyway.
My voice? This is the plan. Saturn in virgo in my 6th and Pluto square my Mars. This fall.
You know, jm... there's no need to wait for a transit. Especially the Saturn ones. If you prep for it ahead of time, by he time it arrives, piece of cake! The work is done and you reap the reward. Saturn loves hard workers! And loves to reward them! ;-) :-)
So get cracking girl!!
Saturn = discipline ;-)
Well.
Those in the know, know. My partner before he died told me my voice was in the core of life, and he heard it the most. People usually sigh the minute I start. Their bodies relax and their hearts calm down. The rhythm.
But the public gets bored with the lack of flash. They try to make me do it harder and tighter. They want to be flagellated. So this is the quandary I find myself in. How to get the through. I'm not into S&M.
I think it's not really up to me. All I can do is put it out and try not to have any preconceived ideas about response. They'll play the same games, but so what. If I change to please them I might as well be a stenographer.
I am a professional writer. Not sure I want a clone of myself.
Yeaaayyy!!! That shows you where my head is.
You're absolutely right about the transits. I just have to jump in despite the awful awful sensation of anticipation of their madness and inability to find satisfaction. All their crybabying agony. Oh well!
Once I'm out, I'm fine. This si an important crossroads, and the torpedo image is a d good one. I'm shielded. I know that.
How 'bout a potter for you? Dry hands though.
Designer? Caterer? Veterinarian?
But the public gets bored with the lack of flash.
Just off the top of my head... something that came to mind...
I've read elsewhere your thoughts about live versus recorded music. Perhaps you need to allow yourself to revisit your notions about that.
I fully agree that there is NOTHING like live music.
At the same time: we can't all be sitting with our favorite musicians all the time.
So there is a need and a place for recorded music.
And. ~Perhaps~ (although I am not entirely convinced of this) yours is not music the 'live concert' crowd wants. BUT.
That calming, soothing, relaxing thing you do to people? How you settle them right down? THAT is the PERFECT fare for ~recording~. THAT is what I want to slip in my CD player as I'm doing the dishes or my taxes or trying to rock the baby to sleep or repotting my house plants or driving to work or back from the hell hole of work.
Think about it, ok?
I need to get to bed now.
Delighted to have spent this time with you tonight. You uplifted me, jm. Thank you for that.
Nighty-night. xo
How 'bout a potter for you? Dry hands though. Designer? Caterer? Veterinarian?
Def not a vet. I don't want an animal person. No pets.
You ARE a sweetheart though. We'll find the right thing for me yet!!
xoxox (((((jm)))))
'nite jane. I think you might be right about recording. Thank you for all.
No wildlife in the house???
(((((jane)))))
No cats or dogs.
I've had birds.
And. Tomorrow. Remind me to talk to you about your 5th house. I saw something there earlier I wanted to run by you. I'm too tired now to be articulate. But it has to do with your music.
Love you bunches. Sleep well.
No wildlife but TONS of greenery. :-)
Plants are my pets. :-)
68
69
The perv in me just HAD to close the night on the count of 69!! :-P :-D
(Hell, we were so close. I couldn't NOT!)
70
The prude in me had to go one more!
Can't wait to hear about my 5th.
~Was~ in bed. Had to come back.
Because. Was in bed ~with your chart~.
Am seeing ALL KINDS of things! Re: your music!
Tomorrow. Shall have lots to put on the table. For you to consider. :-)
Nite again!!
Nite once again jane. I am on pins and needles. This is amazing. I feel like I'm on "This is Your Life"!!
I'll have my napkin on my lap at that table, for sure! With my best manners!
FYI, you know what I was doing just now? I fired up my sound system and was listening to my tapes.
Time to get going. Give me some of that good SN in Aries and I'll blast the torpedoes myself.
My sheet (your chart) is BLUE with annotations -- wall to wall!!!
Heck if I'm gonna be able to sleep now!!! :-D
FYI, you know what I was doing just now? I fired up my sound system and was listening to my tapes.
Music to my ears!!!! :-)
Back to bed I go! (This is when I love living alone!! :-D )
Annotations!!! Blue!!!!
I got lucky!
Maybe a writer would be better.
Did I say I didn't want a clone of myself?? Hmm. It just dawned on (silly) me that I am currently uh, sortov involved with a poet at the moment. I believe that does fall under the category 'writer'. (Duh!) And I *love* it.
I think as long as she were 'a different kind of writer' than me, that might actually be ok, good even.
I am definitely not a poet, so am tremendously enjoying that aspect of our relationship.
Alas, it is a relationship that will not be going anywhere, due to 'circumstances'.
But definitely need someone with 'head' (as one part of a more rounded package).
I have been notorious for picking partners with zero 'head' (air). That won't happen again!
Annotations!!! Blue!!!!
Can I just fax said annotated sheet to you?
Writing it up is gonna be a bitch!! :-D
No fax here. Not yet!
Please. Promise me you'll find air in the next one. The passion wears thin for the long haul. The mind to mind is infinite.
The day my partner died, our minds were still clicking. We were laughing at death, mixed with the gravity. Our stellar communication continued until the last hours. It was an unusual day, to say the least.
The Pluto in my 5th is the biggie. I'm reminded of that now.
When Pluto comes to your Saturn things will be different and you can back off from the Venus/Pluto hopefully. It will probably change into a differenct kind of energy exchange with people.
Ther are always undercurrents, but Venus/Pluto can eventually be grand fair exchange, and the use of sexual energy for amazing accomplishments when circulated. When drain and frustration are circumvented.
The Scorpio/Leo square is all about this. Transmogrification of raw sexual desire into creative achievement of a high order.
Your 7th house is this. My SN 7th Scorpio with Pluto in the 5th is deep into this.
I don't know what your aims as a writer are, but you have talent. So many of us fritter it away in a life of melodrama and interpersonal nonsense.
I haven't done that, but the performance part still needs work. We need connection with sexual content, but control of the force is the greatest achievement of all. Unless one has nothing in particular to do with his life that's out of the ordinary.
This is a good subject.
I've worked many years with this since my artistic ambitions are so great. The pleasure/pain axis and sexuality are terrifying to humans. The sexual circus out there is absolutely astounding. The epidemic of plastic surgery, all the breast implants, is tragic. And all the violence and prurient fascination. I feel sorry for the whole bunch in their failure to deal with it. People are so frightened and probably most are not having the satisfying sex lives they'd like others to believe. It's a freak show.
It's procreation and that's massive. The force is not a walk in the park. So most of us are stuck with dealing with these sensations outside of the natural program. Lots of interpersonal hurt results. What to do with it?
I feel that the use of the power for creativity is one of the best choices.
Good morning sunshine! :-)
I awoke and promptly scribbled a few more insights on the back of your chart, the front being full. :-)
I've got things that need doing today ('doing': our new buzzword? :-) ) but will assemble my annotations into some kind of hopefully coherent whole through the day.
I will post it at my place by day's end.
Please. Promise me you'll find air in the next one.
I've already made that promise to myself.
I'm now making it you.
(And it wasn't even about passion. I only ever had passion with One. The others were 'other things'. Other convo for another time, not today.)
The day my partner died, our minds were still clicking. We were laughing at death, mixed with the gravity. Our stellar communication continued until the last hours.
This is what I am seeking. This is what I need/want/desire. This is how I 'vibe' too. I understand 'this' that you talk about.
the use of sexual energy for amazing accomplishments
Already happening, in 'surrogate' form. I'll explain some other time.
It's a freak show.
I've always lived on the very far fringes of it all. Never was part of it.
I grew up, and still live, largely without television, radio, and the print media. By choice, even as a child/teen.
Books and nature were (are) my world.
I fell fast and hard for the Internet, when it 'came out'. It expanded my options while allowing me CONTROL over both input and output (into and from my Self).
Btw...
Synchronicities... synergy... (two of my favorite words)...
Recently, the topic of house systems came up briefly in another corner of cyberspace where I hang out.
Then I stumbled into your little universe here, and the fact that you use Koch came up.
This prompted me to start looking into the various house systems.
I was looking at my chart while eating breakfast just now, cast in 5 different systems.
And bingo! A light went on!
My 'teacher'/mentor switched to Equal houses a few years ago. This morning, my chart in Equal all of a sudden made sense. It may even hold an answer I'd been at a loss to find. I'm thrilled!
Telling you because because I want to thank you... for showing up in my life... and leading me to Koch... which led me to Equal... and hopefully, to The Clue that had eluded me up till now. (This has to do with the first of the two things I mentioned at the start of our convo last, that were/are excruciatingly weighing on me.)
This could be huge.
~Thank you~.
erratum:
...at the start of our convo last night, ...
I grew up, and still live, largely without television
This is fabulous! Everyone else is weary of my TV tirades, but I have a lot to say on this. A lot!
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