The earth simmersHawaii volcanoes: Brad Lewis
All is calm.
posted by jm at 4:39 AM
Friday, August 01, 2008
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
Previous Posts
- Morning ride.All is still calm.
- Sweet Nothins
- I See
- And So He Walks and Feels
- Afternoon Flamingoes
- Under the Moon
- I Salute You
- Passageways
- I use my tricks, my bag of kicksIn the most u...
- Dinner
13 Comments:
I am glad.
Mars on my moon opposite Uranus. Not so calm. Surviving. Healing. Silence seems the best place.
I send you warm thoughts dear friend.
Tseka. What a pleasure. I can't believe it's been so many days since I clicked in here at jazzrap.
I was wondering how your Sun transit was ending up. I find that healing after the precious ones die takes forever and gets worse in ways as time progresses. I guess they leave a space that can never be filled and a separation that's always painful. I'm still working on it. Maybe I'll stop trying.
I've gotten so used to the silence I wonder about all the plans I once had for excitement and drama. I think it does induce healing. Some long term ailments of mine have in fact healed in the extended silence in exchange for the interpersonal heat and anxiety. I'm still adjusting and with Pluto sq my Mars I have no idea about the direction ahead. Silence will probably reveal that too.
I'm in the midst of Uranus sq my Moon like your opposition. The station at 22 was exact. But I haven't noticed anything in particular. Not like the conjunction which was vivid and troublesome. It could be because I don't have personal entanglements like I did then and Uranus-Moon transits free people from these. It is interesting though. A new woman entered my life in the last few weeks. A Cancer. At first I leaned into it a bit and backed off and then I thought, just let it be. That could be the Uranian development. Leave it all alone. NN in the 1st. Let relationships just be there without worrying about dependency. It could very well be that I don't need that kind of dependency so much anymore. I shall see. Freedom would be nice.
Just letting things be describes where i am at the moment as well.
It is a strange new place for me, never one to set boundaries and as you well know since we both have the longest "tethers" around, people can push or pull quite far before breaking a connection. But suddenly my life seems not to have room for certain behaviors, dramas, interactions with others. Without my participation others who really don't seem to belong disappear. It's almost magical. And very freeing.
I am healing from an old - genetic actually, condition that took me for a fast ride down a treacherous path. I'm on my way back. It's been an odd year, no two ways about it. Resilience is my middle name. I have not had to deal with being laid low for a lot of years. A vacation request was apparently ignored.
A calm came in with this eclipse and it seems to be an endpoint of energies that began on the eclipse of my moon.
The art world that i have always known is collapsing. Corporate sponsorship is the new wave, Microsoft the arbiter of taste. Ick, Ick. Avert your eyes quick.
A long discussion with someone who has been with the museum since 70s was illuminating. Very! Helped to fill in the missing dots.
I do not feel directionless but neither do i know where i am going. Curiously i do not find that too disturbing.
I read at Raging Uni sometimes but have no heart for this cycle's politics. It is as if the scales have fallen from my eyes and all looks so depressingly corrupt and ugly. A big game with multiple levels of players. A colosseum event with most people rooting for the lions.
Meanwhile. White Raven has returned. I was thinking about her in terms of astrology. She showed up in June of 2004 at the Venus RX. And here she is again after some time away. she is leading a group of at least seven black ravens. I visited her hangout friday. She was not there but perhaps 20 other ravens were. Ravens flew in and out of the assembly. This is very, very unusual to find Ravens congregated and all quite polite and seemingly happy.
warm thoughts to you dear one.
OMG! You're there! Here! Among the walking.
But suddenly my life seems not to have room for certain behaviors, dramas, interactions with others.
Amen. I can hardly believe how free I am of that at the moment. Reluctant to mess it up.
Avert your eyes quick.
One of the biggest of all problems. Truthfully, I don't know any more about my music career. That inability of the audience to absorb.
The ravens. They are your kin. NN in Pisces has no need for the corrupt world. You've earned escape and mystical renunciation. I understand completely your absence from the political talk at Raging Uni.
I agree with your colosseum assessment and I wonder just what it's doing in its dominant position. It's always been like that. Maybe it's the perfect cover-up for the other progressing in quiet and grace. Gentleness.
But we can continue our discussion here. At will, in between the cramps.
The 12th house is what we are leaving some say, and mine is Pisces so I understand profoundly the urge to renounce the ugly world. My asc ruler Mars conjuncts Neptune so this has been one of the major dilemmas in my life. After M died I felt so very very forlorn and I went back to my hidden sanctuary, a wounded animal. The sorrow which I thought would lift has not and now I don't expect it to.
But waltzing back into the ugly is treacherous and I'm biding my time knowing I must to satisfy my Aries who wants to triumph among the lions. To tame them and use their strength. I'm daunted.
You with a Cap 12th can leave it behind and continue walking toward freedom. It's hard to decide where to place the struggle exactly.
One of the biggest of all problems. Truthfully, I don't know any more about my music career. That inability of the audience to absorb.
seems to sum it all up very nicely; the inability of the eaudience to absorb.
One of the things i learned just before i left came from a friend in advertising. You know how carefully they track these things...who has money how do they spend it.
Ans: 40 and under
what they buy, top 4
1. mini face lift
2. liposuction
3. tummy tuck
4 derriere tuck
no art on list.
At show a collector who has become a friend over the years arrived. "OMG," says she -there was an article in the morning's newspaper. "What," she asks me, "is the number one graduation (high school) gift for a girl?"
no clue
ans: breast augmentation.
sigh.
But the museum itself is playing this young and flashy, sexy game too. A pander to microsoft their corp sponsor.
I received a letter of invitation to exhibit. In it was made clear that my work scored very high with jury but mention was also made of the fact that the public demanded that some of we "older" artists be included as they were not happy we were being excluded. So essentially i was a token old timer that had brought along and built the museum. Then they went on to say how they were moving to younger, fresher artists.
It's right out there now. Move on - get over it. Get out of our way.
It was pretty gaspingly outrageous.
ja i want to triumph with the lions too. I just need to get a bit of my vim back- then choose my arena.
I'm pretty good with those bobcats. Maybe the way is to whisper in their ear?
Yeah. I'm not enthused today, but maybe I don't want to be overall. Sigh is right. I'm unhappy to hear about the museum after last year's high. The flashy sexy game has never attracted me so I've always been out of the loop. It stares at me everywhere I look, taunts me, and my senses despair. They've turned down the piped in music a little bit though. I wonder if that will last. It's a nightmare.
Very very sad about the museum. Moving on is actually a good idea. We've talked about this so much trying to convince ourselves that all is not lost out there, but I fundamentally feel the same disinterest I always felt. With M, we had our own private creative loop and now I really don't know. The world has always seemed lost to me. People blindly groping, fearful primarily, not paying real attention to things and one another, looking too fast for the next experience. Grasping the mediocre and overlooking the good. And my basic question: What am I doing here?
As as vim goes, that one always eludes me. I don't want fake energy and don't have much naturally, so I guess I'm working on going with what is and not keep trying so hard. I know that both of us are getting Pluto to our Aries points and that could be interesting. Pluto tries to go the source of energy and I wonder if that will happen. I feel like not moving into action at all unless it's truly worthwhile, delivering some satisfaction. Long ago I realized that nothing really works. We usually delude ourselves temporarily.
I used to get so worked up over the non-absorption of the audience but they can't help themselves. They're being who they need to be. I've always had just a handful of supporters for my work so that might not change. No matter what happens I still have an underlying malaise and resistance to the mundane so it all boils down to simply getting out of the financial disaster I've made of my life. I even thought of selling everything, getting a van, and living on the road. Spend time in different towns, renting apartments, working odd jobs. Freedom. Problem is, I can't think of anything I want. That's hardly the stuff of vim and motivation.
Maybe I should turn my ear to the whispers.
Anyhoo ....
Here's one of my dilemmas. I feel sometimes like I want to plug into something new but I don't know whether or not I need to unplug first. Ya know?
Feels good to be in your circle again, Wise 1.
Here's one of my dilemmas. I feel sometimes like I want to plug into something new but I don't know whether or not I need to unplug ofirst. Ya know?
Only to well, perhaps Pluto doing his thing. Everything us up for review. Your stories of being in India resonate, some of my early adventures are similar, they are now echoing through the long hallway. I seem quite detached from it all. I am listening with great intention and it seems almost as if the universe would like to take me by the hand and lead. I'm agreeable but the moment is not yet.
Feels good to be in your circle again, Wise 1. mutual feeling dear one.
I've swept off the patio, evicted a very busy black widow and all her webs. It is a bit more inviting than it was. A few plants to replace the dead stuff would help...I'm making all my bread these days. I have a rustic loaf that i've perfected, reminds me of Italian country loaves. Goes well with hot coffee in the morning
Well, as you know, bread is my life. Three toasted slices, three varieties, every day upon awakening and I live. Most important is the whole wheat pita.
I'm glad to hear about the black widow eviction. As tolerant as I am, I wouldn't want to necessarily share a patio with one. Once conversation starts, though, minor inconveniences are forgotten.
It's really strange. The music trend I'm picking up on. Downtown in the midst of the madness tonight there were many spots with soft gentle music. There was also the usual hard hard drum banging and squealing horns, but there was more of the other than usual. If it's really a trend it could be interesting. It has such power, the soft and delicate.
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