Toy Chests and Copper Lined Boxes
I've neglected my dolls.
Time to go talk to them.
posted by jm at 4:07 AM
Friday, January 23, 2009
About Me
- Name: jm
I am a brilliant creation of the universe formed from the cosmic protoplasm sailing into eternity. I have two hands, two feet, a couple of great ears, and I'm clipping through life at a moderate pace; minding my p*s and q*s, crossing my t*s, dotting every i.
Previous Posts
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- Perplexed and Addled
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- And So He Walks and Feels
- Afternoon Flamingoes
91 Comments:
OH this is wonderful JM. Why does it touch the heart so? Sweet but in the best of ways.
I was invited out by a local guy. A wildlife photographer of some fame hooked into the LA market. He's tried in the past but is more persistent now.
WHY?
I don't give any signals i'm interested. I'm pathetic i prefer the company of my cat and my solitude, would rather chat with you than do cocktails and listen to some avant garde presentation of "Desert Stories" I'm not interested. It all seems dull and old to me. Filling time.
Maybe that's a clue as to why i'm not selling. We are all tired of each other's egos.
And this guy has a huge one. Maybe that's why he's famous eh?
I briefly considered if there could be a professional friendship, then saw i was only going to use the guy's connections. I can't even let myself off the hook for work. heh.
I'd rather sift through copper lined boxes and old toy chests.
YES.
Oh, do I ever relate. So sweet the preference for our chats.
So tired of the egos. So tired of the phoniness. And I'm content to leave it be for now and follow this gossamer thread. Why be afraid?
We'll get there. I know. This is wise and smart. Let it bubble up from the deep.
Sigh.
I find nothing in any way, shape or form pathetic about solitude. I have a beautiful strange mixture of sorrow, contentment, and self interest working in me. It's new. I want to explore.
I have a beautiful strange mixture of sorrow, contentment, and self interest working in me. It's new. I want to explore.
completely so. Not so new for me but resistance to the pressure of others is. And i'm holding my ground very well.
correction the self interest is new and i'm protecting it like a newborn.
What a great idea .. to protect it as a newborn.
Resistance to the pressure of others is the most joyous thing I experience. It should come eventually with a NN 1. They simply are not me.
The past couple of days have been quite nice a little shift for me, perhaps the eclipse prelude.
Besides someone wanting to wine and dine me. I had two museums contact me. One is very small with an actual invitation to exhibit in the next season (begins next sept) This is my hope to push my work up to another level. This week i've managed to pull of binding a book that looks very professional. Shocked myself. The plan is to have a little book of poems and images that are available as prints. The project kinda spun out of bounds - that's how it goes with me. Reeling in now.
The copper lined boxed are full of treasure.
That sounds wonderful.
NN |SN on the Pisces Virgo axis has always been that dang self sacrifice thing. I think Pluto on my Sun finally gave me a good smack.
I don't know if it's wonderful but at least it's not spinning which is what i've been doing for a while. And I haven't liked it much.
The museum calls are wonderful to me whether or not anything comes of it. Just a line from out there is good.
The book sounds really good. I think something like that is an odyssey and keeps us turning corners. The sacrifice thing fuels self pity and probably not a whole lot more. Do the minimum.
Do the minimum
You and A.
Thanks, i need to hear it so it gets drummed into my cells.
His, "Dead rescuers rescue no one E" was good for me.
It's so hard to deal with the SN. Doing the minimum for others is the only way. Someone else will always be there. If I could get that perfected I might be able to perform for them but I still have a way to go.
Take care sweetheart. I got up much too early this morning and am yawning with fatigue. I'm off to snuggle up with my Ulli.
That sounds so warm and safe. We'll meet over the weekend I'm fairly sure. It could be a relaxing one.
I have a great idea! Why not meet over the weekend and pull a card together?
good plan. Maybe this evening. Better'n cocktails with the masses.
\
This is a working weekend for me. But look for me this evening.
Excellent!
LOL. "Cocktails with the masses". That one is great. Omg how perfect.
We ended early. Wonderfully successful day. Working with someone who knows how to work, who is not afraid to express an opinion, yowzers, what a treat. No prima donna my friend.
This self published book thing is gonna work. Her photos came out superb. I didn't know what to expect.
You know that feeling of breakthrough? Now the real work begins, the tedious day in, day out typing, formatting. It's been an education just to get this far. I had no idea how much went into publishing a good looking book.
Maybe we will have to rethink the "Conversations on the Patio" all in due time. I might be pulling my hair out next week.
I'll check back periodically. I'm ready to pull a card from the deck. I feel like i should dress for the occasion.
Speaking of dressing....
Maybe you would consider sending some of your designs to the White House. I think our new first lady would benefit from your talent.
OMG. She is so pitiful and I haven't commented yet. She looks like she took drapes from a motel and tacked them on, hiked halfway up her thighs.
I'm so embarrassed.
hej
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I wonder about myself sometimes.
Often.
I do that all the time.
No, really. This fashion thing really gets to me. Why doesn't somebody do something????
So tell me more about the book.
Ellie's book is a photo book with thoughtful short articles that correspond to the work. She is a landscape photographer who catches the light.
She has been teaching history to 7th graders and retires in June. Doing photography for years. She grew up in your neck of the woods and lived for a long time in Wyoming. Zelda would approve, she worked in the circus - high wire. Took folk backcountry on horses into the Wind Rivers. A little of everything. Her work has been in some of the wildlife mags and also Sunset.
We both were investigating the on demand publishing but are too persnickity about quality. If you are going to waste some trees it better be for a piece of art, something you want to own.
I've been producing my own publicity for years and some little Tojis for my shows which combine haiku and prose with the paintings.
My plan is to expand the Toji idea.
Where we have arrived is clothbound hardcover, nice solid binding with sensuous paper and the best graphical product i can pull out of my minolta laser which is not as good as lab photo but with effort close. We hope to make a short run of 10 for each of us and see how the public responds, get an idea of what might come next.
She is a kick, but very solid, dependable. I've known her for years. We have both been burnt by others and entered this with little expectation.
We started on this almost a year ago, each taking on a part and then meeting to see how we meshed.
So far, so good.
Sounds beautiful. How do you distribute?
It's perfect for your Saturn in Libra to do this.
Now to the fashion thing. I'm no maven but....yikes.
And the potential for high galm is there. With your costuming talents you could change the country.
Distribute will be through shows. For Ellie it is built in opportunity through park gift stores etc.
For me, I'm hoping the book will sell prints. I write small bits of poetry for my shows and hang them next to the pieces. The words are often the entry for people into my work.
There is no way to make money off this enterprise at this level. It is just a selling tool.
That's good enough. It adds dimension- roundness - to your expression. I love poems on the wall next to paintings. Really love them.
I built my sound system with that in mind and people have commented on the fullness. It's like being in a deep bowl that is larger in dimension than what the system looks like with me alone. They do a double take.
Her fashion sense is atrocious. As is her taste in music. I've never liked her either. She's so tacky. I wish someone would dress her.
I always fantasize about dressing people. It's a beautiful art to get it right, since people are so unique. I wish I could change the clothes thing in this country. I have no hopes for her, however. Way too far gone. Unless someone beat her over her hard head. The election night red and black one was one of the most hideous ones ever.
I'm glad you brought this up. I spent 10 years building my system and when I play out there I can't hear it's depth so I forget. I need to have a long talk with myself about my talent and what I can do.
Good idea, i just had a long talk wit myself about my talent.
It's tough with no money coming in. I pull in too. But the creativity doesn't stop flowing and pretty soon it gushes out someplace else.
My scale has shifted from large to small. Suddenly i'm in love with small intimate after years of big, big work. They feel the same, in a curious way. The pull to the heart and eye. Mid-sized fails for me.
Do you find something similar in music the scale of the piece in the setting?
As to MO i do not like her either. Sad. My first campaign where i worked for a candidate was Shirley Chisholm.
I've felt a lot of sorrow about this whole election. I wish i were jubilant.
Very important point. I, too, have been pulling in to a smaller scale rather than the universe expanding emotional melodramatic large ones. I've been thinking about this for a long time.
I've always had a battle between these epic pieces and old love songs from the 30s and 40s for example.
I've been working on a version of the old tune, Stars fell on Alabama, and the other night I hit it on the keyboard and pulled it off. It was wonderful. So I might go smaller.
The big is often insecurity and an attempt to push and pull the audience through overdoing. Getting them through small is true mastery.
Good thoughts.
Don't even think about being jubilant. Shirley was was the real thing. These people are fakes.
Tell me about your sorrow and the election. I want to know.
I cannot believe this.
I cannot believe it, I can't believe it, I cannot believe it.
King of Wands
This is the card that comes up at the most significant times in my life. It was the card I drew the minute he died. It's my significator. So what does it mean now?
The money will come. Our thing will come. It's already here. We just have to stay creative and trust ourselves. Let it come. In whatever form. So what if it hurts.
Cocktail hour with the masses is for happiness.
Does anything matter?
I love the king of wands.
One of my all time favorites. Are you still using the deck with the worn off spot? The story of M's passing and the drawing of the King of Wands took my breath away. Lingers. Trust in the truth.
I chose the King of wands as my significator when i first began reading tarot, now the nine of pentacles often arises.
I love the wands in general, new and unexpected life sprouting from places deemed impossible.
The Lovers was what I drew. Balancing of opposites. Encountering choices and finding that gossamer thread that weaves between.
Two good choices for us.
Speaking of breath-taking ... your memory.
Yes. The spot is still there. Right over the heart.
Trust in the truth.
Good idea.
The story of the wounded heart is too touching not to remember.
The day has been very mild and sweet, the light has an intensity now. We are far enough south that we feel the Beltane light a week or two early.
We're having our first real winter storm.
A dusting of show on the peaks here today and a cold wind. I love it. Invigorating.
Keep your toes warm.
xxoo
You sweet thing!
I'm enjoying the nip too. And you know a funny fact? I don't even mind cold feet. They keep me jumping.
Keep your ears open.
The whistling wind.
Don't mind cold tootsies eh?
Every lover i've had called me popsicle toes (and icebutt) probably more information than needs stating.
Strange day. My mother and I went to low desert for the big shop- food essentials. It was crowded with people escaping the winter other places. Usually i can ignore the fools but they were out en masse shopping up a storm driving like lunatics and being even more weird than usual. I began to feel it as a general miasm. On the other hand the young crowd who is usually curt and rude could not have been more cheerful and polite. I came home feeling my senses had been assaulted.
The sense of miasm lingers. A manic cloud, it could be illness causing it was that palpable. Very, very strange.
I need to think about this some more. A. calls this group HOAS (as in home-owners assoc) They dress alike, talk alike even if from different areas of the country, drive identical cars, belong to same clubs. And they drink an amazing amount of alcohol as well as take a ton of (pharma) drugs. It is astonishing the level of sameness and conditioned lives they lead. They look for the signaling authority before doing anything and have been richly rewarded as a class of people. This group has amassed so much wealth for so little work. They are not patrons of the arts nor culture. This is the gated community. Superficial in the extreme.
So here is the question rolling around in my mind. One thing i am very clear about is perceiving illness. If they all are accustomed to mirroring and mimicing the group what will be the result of this milling miasm? Are we witnessing a collapse of not only their lifestyle but lives?
HA HA HA HA HA!!! Yes, information enough!
Exactly, exactly, exactly!! OMG! The manic cloud. I feel it everywhere so strongly. And yes, disease is afoot.
We will discuss. I'm so glad I'm not the only one sensing it.
The miasm has been apparent to me for years, and I agree completely with you that a deep underlying illness is surfacing. The drugged state has been pervasive in all strata of society. The upper classes are emulated by the lower so everyone is involved and I dare not say what kind of collapse is imminent.
The rich are going to go into psychosis soon, I think, but the not-rich are just as troubled.
The collapse of lives is a good question. The rumblings are so obvious, but where the structure falls and how is impossible for me to figure out.
Let's go into it as things unfold. It's such a great relief to share my perspective with you. We need to build strength, I believe.
That thing you described about today (perfectly) is just what I experience and have been for years when I go out there. The manic desperation. There is great despair in the world now, evidenced by this tragic attachment to one man. It's eerie.
I, like you, am sensitive to disease and people always have gotten angry at me for expressing it. I'm sensitive to every single little minor discomfort of all people and all of it builds to the collective disease, which I was born knowing.
People evade these feelings with their numbing behaviors until they end up as heart disease, cancer, etc.
The epidemic of anti-depressant use now seems to be surfacing in an overwhelming despair. Heart disease is #1, so self-love, pride, and ego, are underdeveloped in this nation in exchange for pompous celebrity strutting, insecurity, and soap opera tragedy.
Diabetes is the lack of sweetness and good relationship indicated by our Saturn in Libra.
There's a lot of work to be done.
All true, spoken as a king of Wands.
Yet, R and I laughed constantly, mirth is contagious. I feel not less compassion, just the ridiculousness of life cracks me up.
Did you get enough snow to muffle the world? I love the silence that comes with snow. As a child that was what would awaken me, and i would snuggle even deeper into my blankets smiling. I love snow.
I love snow too. We didn't get very much and now it's sunny and warming.
There has been a huge increase in air traffic the last week. For three days bombing has been shaking the house. Tonight something new. Sinister. This is like listening to war drums. The deep vibrations rumble constantly under my feet.
Last time was Mar 20 you know when...
I am not happy with this at all.
And they are doing it in my name.
Meanwhile the bobcats, coyotes and Ravens seem to be rejoicing. Maybe they know something? or its hormones making them frisky.
I'm not happy with it either. It seems like the war drums always murmur when they're not beating fully. We can rejoice like the innocents, I suppose. If the mood strikes. Hormones are too complicated.
March 20 was how I got here. Seems like we're still there, still in the vortex. The drums have been making me sad.
What are they after?
Something about the brain and violence. Need for blood-letting. Some primordial belief in appeasing the gods? Letting out demons? Pleasure? It's disturbed me for too many years.
Movement
I got an e-mail out of the blue from a lifelong friend who just went to work for the state dept.
He sent links for exhibits at embassies and visiting artist gigs. The sites a bit limited but i'm going to dig some more. Maybe our train is heading to Timbuktu?
He's been in several African countries for the last few decades.
I get a christmas Hi how are you? some years, so this was a real surprise. Cam we really be thinking more of one another?
My life is going through some real changes all of a sudden.
What's up on your side. I was thinking it was Pluto finally letting me go, but who knows.
This guy is an Aquarian, i just realized his sun is on my asc. One of those friends on the very long tether.
Amazing. Finally.
It's a good time for people. Jupiter, NN in Aquarius. Optimistic New Moon.
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